dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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