all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We had to coat check the pizza.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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