If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
