The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize