Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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