He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
