i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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