You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
