She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
