i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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