he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
