butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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