Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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