I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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