U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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