Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
