you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
