i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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