I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
