You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
