I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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