did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
