I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
