It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
