; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
