And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
