I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
