I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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