Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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