Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
