i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
