woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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