we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
