There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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