i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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