his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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