i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
