is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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