haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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