is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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