Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
