So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
