I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize