Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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