So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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