we have pet lesbian snakes
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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