discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
