Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
