I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
