She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
