I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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