Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
