What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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