All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
