so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
