you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize