She's JV to your varsity
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Randomize
