i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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