Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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