Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
