If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
