okay pat passed out under dana's car
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it wasn't lemon gatorade
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
