I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
