Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
